(trigger warning: rape, rape jokes) Here is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down…
Because 6% of college-aged men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act—and that’s the conservative estimate. Other sources double that number (pdf).
A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?
They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.
Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.
If one in twenty guys (or more) is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, in a pick-up game of basketball, at a bar, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.
But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another, someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.
Or maybe you didn’t laugh. Maybe it just wasn’t a very funny joke. So maybe you just didn’t say anything at all.
And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed? When you were silent?
That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.
You. The rapist’s comrade.
And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore, not abiding it in your presence, not greeting it with silence…
Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.
- itrunsevendeeper likes this
- charlotteblu-loves-rainbows likes this
- ollitwister reblogged this from friendlyangryfeminist
- thedevilsbuick likes this
- waywardseerofspace reblogged this from friendlyangryfeminist
- waywardseerofspace likes this
- krmassahos reblogged this from friendlyangryfeminist
- thehealthyroute likes this
- happyfitnezz reblogged this from friendlyangryfeminist
- bonheurperdu likes this
- unnlimitedjuice reblogged this from toxicrants
- lickmyheel likes this
- silly-jerk likes this
- highwithenvy reblogged this from sexistmorons
- chimera-of-mine reblogged this from shewhofavorsfire
- farmcore reblogged this from shewhofavorsfire
- shewhofavorsfire reblogged this from doctorbee
- wemadequiteamess-babe reblogged this from changingtosavemylife
- wemadequiteamess-babe likes this
- un-canadien-errant likes this
- changingtosavemylife reblogged this from doctorbee
- loveandoleander reblogged this from doctorbee
- doctorbee reblogged this from orbitingasupernova
- m90indra likes this
- annakie reblogged this from theelusiveman
- lahanteerprah likes this
- sadgasm-s likes this
- somesadsmiles reblogged this from dreamdaylady
- laflux likes this
- laflux reblogged this from dreamdaylady
- fuckadoodle--doo likes this
- lzbth likes this
- dreamdaylady reblogged this from missgingerlee
- 108step likes this
- andallislove reblogged this from reyairia
- jordie3 likes this
- oflittlenote likes this
- thatirelandkid likes this
- sillygarbus likes this
- reyairia reblogged this from theelusiveman
- theelusiveman reblogged this from datassguardian
- theelusiveman likes this
- datassguardian reblogged this from seriouslyamerica
- collegegrrrl reblogged this from doctorbee
- morpheusandman likes this
- eternalsnowflake likes this
- anoukc likes this
- satruna reblogged this from mohawkdandy
- saharthestar reblogged this from theneverendingrandomness
- stephenfrysfemmeson reblogged this from laurentreks