Yes, the Jesus character in the Gospels spoke of love and respect and humility, healing the sick and taking care of the poor. But he also spoke of the wickedness of thought crimes, and the sinfulness of divorce; of the value of surrendering rational thought, and the nobility of abandoning family and responsibility to pursue a religious practice. He spoke with approval of the calm acceptance of evil and oppression in this world. And he spoke — over and over like a broken record — about the all-importance of believing that he was God, and obeying his commands. He spoke again and again about how there was just one right way to practice religion, and how doing this was a far greater priority than being a good person in the world.
If you believe that it’s normal and healthy to think about things that you would never actually do; that expressing anger is often useful and healthy; that good people should resist evil and oppression; that people’s sexual and marital lives are nobody’s business but their own; that people of different faiths, perhaps even of no faith at all, can still be good people; that you shouldn’t just believe what you’re told; that women and men should have equal marital rights; that actions speak louder than words and beliefs; that religion shouldn’t divide people; that fact-checking is a valuable skill; and that it’s more important to treat each other well than to have the exact right religious doctrine… then good for you. I think so, too. But if you believe that the Gospels reflect the reality of his life and teachings, then apparently Jesus didn’t.
Greta Christina, The Messed Up Teachings of Jesus
DEMONS! (by BargainBinofOblivion)
Well, this is the WTF video of my day! Best comment on this video: “What’s so weird? I don’t get it. How else would one broach the subject of demon possession if not through a hand puppet pig singing country-western.”
The good samaritan parable
Jesus was racist. If their disciples were from this age, maybe it would have gone something like this.
Fight the faith
Mitchell and Webb are awesome!
Why do Catholics have to prop up this concept of original sin? Because Jesus’s sacrifice makes no sense if it wasn’t done to atone for a universal crime. We all must have inherited that sin, or some of us are innocent and Jesus was irrelevant to us. Can’t have that! That would mean we weren’t subject to the domain of Christianity.
Of course, even if it were true that all 6.7 billion of us were descended from just two people, that doesn’t mean the whole principle of atonement by a proxy blood sacrifice isn’t stupid and irrational. I personally don’t feel that I need redemption from some imaginary crime that my many times great grandmother committed (I’d actually say “You go, Grandma!” if I could — disobeying a psychopathic tyrant seems rather commendable to me), and even if I did, having some mysterious third party get tortured to death does not alleviate my guilt in the slightest.
PZ Myers, Sunday Sacrilege: Cant can’t : Pharyngula
- God: Hey Jews.
- Jews: Hey.
- God: So listen guys, I'm thinking we go in a different direction with this whole religion.
- Jews: What?
- God: You know, do a non-gritty reboot. Same God taste, new God packaging. That sort of thing.
- Jews: We don't follow.
- God: Okay, work with me here guys. Remember the whole ‘angry God' thing?
- Jews: Vividly.
- God: Where I killed a whole bunch of you and-
- Jews: Yeah.
- God: And forty years in the-
- Jews: We remember that.
- God: Not to mention Robo-Hitler. Yikes.
- Jews: Wait, what?
- God: Whoops, forget I said that. "Spoiler Alert", am I right?
- Jews: ...
- God: Anyway, we're going to re-work this whole “God- thing. For example, kid-friendly is big these days in religion.
- Jews: So, like...?
- God: For example, I'm super chill now, for some reason. Plus there's a heaven. Oh, and this is Jesus. He's my son, and he's God too, or something. It's complicated, ok?
- Jesus: Yo.
- Jews: I think we'll stick with the old one here.
- God: Look, I love the brand loyalty Jews, I really do. But this whole “God- thing isn't playing to the right demographics. Jesus is a hip, young God, you know, for the whole “A.D.- generations.
- Jesus: Surfs up, dudes!
- God: Ha, that Jesus. What a character, right? This is going to play huge in Rome…
- Jews: This…goes against everything you've ever told us.
- God: No it doesn't, so just shut up. Also, Jesus, you're going to die.
- Jesus: What? I thought I was your son! Or God. Or both!
- God: Look, this is just complicated, okay Jesus? Besides, you totally return when you fight the Devil.
- Jews: Who?
- God: Right, he's another new character. He's like an evil God. Plot twist, right? We're arch enemies.
- Jesus: Why would you make your own arch-enemy? That's really stupid.
- God: Shut up, Jesus. Andwhat would you know? You're made of bread and wine.
- Jesus: What? Why?
- God: Sponsorships, alright? New testaments aren't cheap.
- Jews: I'm sorry, this is just way too different. Is this your fan-fiction or something?
- God: Of course not. This is the logical progression of Judaism which I planned all along. Like when I made all those references to a lamb.
- Jews: You made, like, five.
- God: Well, they were all about Jesus. Foreshadowing. Um, I guess. So there.
- Jews: Couldn't you have been clearer then?
- God: I work in mysterious ways, okay? Look, just go with it guys. I worked really hard on this. And come on, you totally owe me for the whole 'creation' thing anyway.
- Most Jews: Well, I guess we could.
- God: Awesome! 'Most Jews', aka 'New Christians'-
- New Christians: We're what now?
- God: You won't regret this guys, I have the whole thing planned perfectly
- Holy Ghost: Oooooooooh!
- God: ...
- New Christians: ...
- God: You're going to love it.