Thirty two years old.
Liberal. Atheist. Feminist.
Portland, OR

Birth Control on the Bottom

H/T to Lindy West: “If there’s one thing I know as a modern diverse lady-woman, it’s that if there’s one thing diverse groups of modern female ladies like better than not getting baby-pregnant, it’s bowel regularity! Lucky for both of our bottom-holes, now there’s Dannon’s Birth Control on the Bottom Yogurt.”

I know all the games entitled young men, in particular, play. If you are deploying wingmen, if you are approaching this as you would a gazelle hunt, where the goal is to isolate a target from the herd and make them vulnerable so they will succumb to you, where getting the target stupefyingly drunk is a desirable means to an end, then you might get laid — I don’t deny that those tactics works for unscrupulous people — but you will have forfeited the title of Decent Human Being, and we’d rather you didn’t come to our meetings. Also, atheist women tend to be assertive and not at all bashful about telling everyone else about your behavior, and you’ll find yourself discussed on youtube and on blogs and perhaps even from the podium at the meeting. Then you’ll feel compelled to comment anonymously on those blogs, complaining about ball-busting man-haters, and you’ll be forever receding from that desirable status as Decent Human Being.

You don’t get to whine about being called out. It’s what we do. Join a cult if you’d rather have rules of silence and obedience.

PZ Myers, The Decent Human Beings’ Guide to Getting Laid at Atheist Conferences

Context here and here. “It’s what we do”… so true!


1. Cut back on the travel. You’re pregnant, for heaven’s sake! While other people have been looking at your wedding ring and your brave smile, we’ve been noticing the number and size of the bags you’ve been carrying. And you’re only in the first trimester. Lighten the load and stay home. Yes, we know the Africa trip must have seemed like the perfect opportunity to escape the sturm und drang of the spotlight, and we know that your job means being where your boss is—i.e., on the road. But, a.) those cameras haven’t stayed behind, and b.) like every other working mother on the planet, you’re going to have to start juggling.

The juggle starts now.

Because a woman’s place is in the home, of course.

2. Spend some time with your husband. This is known as Work/Life Balance. You’ve been married for 11 months and one of your only public comments about your wedding was: “Our schedules are so busy that we don’t have time for a honeymoon!” Turns out, if ever there’d been a couple in need of a honeymoon, it was the two of you. Talking on the phone “several times a day” doesn’t cut it. You guys need some face time. Want to take a trip? Accompany Representative Weiner, not Secretary Clinton. Here’s a destination idea: the office of a good couple’s therapist.

Way to implicitly blame Huma for her husband’s douchebaggery.

3. Get him to shut up. I know—good luck with that.

Because it’s a woman’s responsibility to keep their man in line? Or something?

4. Remember you’re not Hillary. And that her experience is not yours. The irony of your being the Other White House Intern hasn’t been lost on us. While Bill picked Monica Lewinsky, Hillary got lucky with you. And we bet her advice and support have been great. But try to separate yourself a little—you’re both strong women, but you’re a different generation, in a different situation, and you don’t deserve to be lumped together in the Lonely Hearts Club.

Yeah, don’t get any delusions of grandeur about your position. You’re no Hillary, Huma, no matter how much people in the media compare you to her in sensationalist articles about your situation, which they inevitably will. This, too, is probably your fault, somehow. 

5. Focus on the baby. Doesn’t that put everything in perspective? You’re going to be a mother! It is the most exciting identity change a woman can undergo. You’ve got some lovely things to look forward to—the first kick, some great sonograms, heartburn, insomnia—and those are all before your little one is born. You’re allowed to browse for onesies and blankies online. You’re expected to go to all the parenting Web sites and bulletin boards to chart and discuss your symptoms. On the Internet—unlike your husband—no one will know who you are.

Because having a baby changes a woman’s whole identity. You have to throw yourself into being the best mommy ever, because lord knows if anything is wrong with the baby, or ever goes wrong with the baby, that’s going to be your fault, too. You also have permission to do suitably mommy-related things on the internet—just kidding, those are expectations! Practically requirements!

This is the Worst. Advice. Ever. What the hell, Vanity Fair? It’s been a while since I’ve seen such a disgusting piece of sexist concern trolling presented as a legitimate opinion in a major publication.

So, so wrong. STFU Vanity Fair. Not your marriage? Not your business.

(Source: existentialcrisisfactory)




Hillary delivers the best response to yesterday’s attack on Planned Parenthood 

How have people not learned yet that you do not mess with Hillary Clinton?

emphasis is mine

This is from 2009 but it’s an excellent defense of the administration’s policies regarding reproductive rights. Boo. Yah.

PZ’s take on the stuff that went down at the recent American Athiests meeting. He’s awesome.

If you want to keep the warm fuzzy feelings, don’t read the comments. There is so much stupid there—it’s depressing. Apparently some men think PZ’s advice to shut up and really listen to what women are saying for a change means be extra sexist and whine about women being over-sensitive.

Le sigh.

Disclaimer: I’m writing this at midnight (to be posted tomorrow) and I’m tired so I only watched the first few minutes of the video.

My snapshot reaction is that if the second most popular topic (by votes) is about how women often feel uncomfortable at atheist gatherings due to men’s behavior and you have a panel of mostly men, you should recognize the problem that presents. I would have rather seen the men say that they were not qualified to lead a discussion on the issue and ask if there were women in the audience that would like to share their experience/lead a discussion.

I particularly like woman name Amy’s comment:

I’m surprised by all the comments from the Atheist men on this thread. Seriously, one thing I’ve learned in my short lifetime is that being a minority requires your direct concerns to be addressed by others around you. If there is anything I’ve learned about being a heterosexual, white, Atheist woman is that I can only address atheist and feminist issues. As for my friends who are gay or of colour, I shut up and listen, consider, and try to ask as many questions as possible.

Its impossible to ever completely understand the issues of a minority group a person isn’t part of. However, as PZ is demonstrating, its important to TRY. It seems that whenever a concern that woman have is raised on this thread, its given a direct judgement from male commenters. If you don’t understand it, don’t dismiss it, instead, do what a good scientist would do and ask “why?”.

If this bill passes into law, a wife beater whose wife is trying to abort for the entirely sensible reason that you don’t want babies with a batterer could walk into a clinic, shoot the doctor to prevent the abortion, and plead justifiable homicide, with the blessing of the South Dakota legislature and presumably the anti-choice movement that lobbied them.

Amanda Marcotte, “South Dakota legislators move to legalize some terrorism and domestic violence” (via

This is scary.

When I was a student at Cambridge I remember an anthropology professor holding up a picture of a bone with 28 incisions carved in it. “This is often considered to be man’s first attempt at a calendar” she explained. She paused as we dutifully wrote this down. ‘My question to you is this – what man needs to mark 28 days? I would suggest to you that this is woman’s first attempt at a calendar.’ It was a moment that changed my life. In that second I stopped to question almost everything I had been taught about the past. How often had I overlooked women’s contributions?

Sandi Toksvig

(Sandi Toksvig is the one who pointed out to me that the Bayeaux Tapestry was made by women.  She is incredibly awesome.)

(via ladiesmakingcomics, learninglog)

Sandi Toksvig is one of my favourite guest panelists on Q.I. She absolutely is awesome. (I just watched the ‘History’ episode she was on and loved it.)

(via falulatonks)

(via lipstick-feminists)

(via ziltoidia)

Is it accurate when the media portrays the atheist movement as a club for old white men? It’s undeniable that most of the time men outnumber women, whether you’re looking at conference attendees or conference speakers, blog readers or best-selling authors. But when Monica Shores wrote that “no women are currently recognized as leaders or even mentioned as a force within the movement,” the atheist community cried out.

Why? Because it’s blatantly untrue.

Hyde: The Status Quo Is Not OK from Center for Reproductive Rights on Vimeo.

How the Hyde Amendment hurts women who are already struggling.


Retro Sexism and Uber Ironic Advertising (via feministfrequency)

I almost never watch advertising on TV (yay DVR!). Looks like I’m missing a whole bunch of crap…


Joss Whedon’s Equality Now speech.
Someone on my dash has just reminded me of this. I almost forgot there are some (a select number of) awesome men. Seriously, feminists, women and men alike: you must watch this.

I love this man :-)

Those who like to believe they have picked themselves up by the bootstraps sometimes forget that they wouldn’t even have boots were it not for the women who came before. Listening to Palin, it’s almost impossible to believe that, as recently as 50 years ago, a woman at Harvard Law School could be asked by Dean Erwin Griswold to justify taking a spot that belonged to a man. In Ginsburg’s lifetime, a woman could be denied a clerkship with Felix Frankfurter just because she was a woman. Only a few decades ago, Ginsburg had to hide her second pregnancy for fear of losing tenure. I don’t have an easy answer to the question of whether real feminists are about prominent lipsticky displays of “girl-power,” but I do know that Ginsburg’s lifetime dedication to achieving quiet, dignified equality made such displays possible.